[in reference to the mausoleums] "Big, freaky, cereal boxes of death."- Buffy

"This is Gachnar?"- Buffy
"Big overture, little show."- Xander
"I am the Dark Lord of nightmares, the bringer of terror. Tremble before me! Fear me!"- Gachnar
"He's so cute."- Willow

[after slaying a vampire in an alley]
"Wow. Been a long while since I met one who didn't know me."- Buffy

"Thanks for the wake-up, but I'll stick with my clock radio."- Buffy

"He said he wasn't coming back until he'd driven to all fifty states."- Willow
"Did you explain about Hawaii?"- Buffy
"Well, he seemed so determined."- Willow

"You know me, not much with the damseling."- Buffy

"Having a secret identity in this town is a job of work."- Buffy

"I'm supposed to deliver you to the Master now. There's this whole deal where I get to be immortal. You cool with that?"- Xander
"Take me to him."- Buffy

[of Buffy] "Say. Look at you. You look just like me. We're very pretty."- Buffy Bot

[after meeting the new Watcher]
"That was bracing."- Giles
"Interesting lady. Can we kill her?"- Buffy
"I think the Council might frown upon that."- Giles

You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend."- Buffy

"Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets."- Buffy

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"- Conservative Woman
"Uh, you know I meant to, and-and then I just got really busy."- Buffy

"That... was not... permitted!"- Ken
"Yeah, but it was fun."- Buffy
"You've got guts. I think I'd like to slice you open, and play with them!"- Ken

[Spike looks on as Buffy and Angel kiss]
[as the First] "That bitch."- Buffy

[Buffy has just sliced Caleb in two from the crotch up just as Angel revives from being hit on the head by Caleb]
"Okay, now I'm pissed! Where is he?"- Angel
"He had to split."- Buffy

[about Spike] "He's evil. But, you should see him naked. I mean, *really*."- Buffy Bot

Love makes you do the wacky."- Buffy

"I went to see Xander. Then I saw Parker. Then came... beer."- Buffy
"Then group sex?"- Willow
"Pfft. Gutter-face, no! Just lots and lots of beer."- Buffy

"What I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts."- Angel
"Could this get yuckier?"- Buffy
"They probably kept the other parts to eat."- Willow
"Question answered."- Buffy

"I can just tell something's wrong - my spider sense is tingling."- Buffy
"Your spider sense?"- Giles
"Pop culture reference... sorry."- Buffy

"Cool. You guys can do the brain thing. I'm gonna go to class."- Buffy
"Which could also be construed as the brain thing."- Oz

"The coroner's office said she was missing an ear, so I'm thinking maybe we're looking for a witch. There's some great spells that work much better with an ear in the mix."- Willow
"That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will."- Buffy

"What about you? What was your toughest kill?"- Faith
[thinking of Angel] "Um, well, you know, they're all difficult, I guess. Uh, oh, oh, do you guys remember the Three? That's right, you never met the Three. Well, there was three..."- Buffy

"To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It's-it's... it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it."- Giles
"No. James destroyed the one person he loved the most in a moment of blind passion. And that's not something you forgive. No matter why he did what he did. And no matter if he knows now that it was wrong and selfish and stupid, it is just something he's gonna have to live with."- Buffy
"He can't live with it, Buff. He's dead."- Xander
[Buffy leaves the room]
"Okay. Over-identify much?"- Cordelia

"Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood."- Buffy
"That actually kinda turns me on."- Xander
"I fear you."- Buffy

"Buffy, careful with this gift. Lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful."- Angel
"Like, say, immortality?"- Buffy
"Hm, exactly. I'm dyin' to get rid of that."- Angel
"Funny."- Buffy
"I'm a funny guy."- Angel

[after he asks her out to the dance] "Xander, you're one of my best friends. You and Willow."- Buffy
"Well Willow's not looking to date you. Or if she is she's playing it pretty close to the chest."- Xander

"Do you know how lame this is? Bored teenage boys tryin' to raise up a demon. Sorry it didn't show. I bet it's 'cause you forgot the boom box playing some heavy metal thing, like Blue Clam Cult? I think that's the key to the raising of lame demons."- Buffy

"No, I'm not saying she craned her neck, we are talking full-on Exorcist twist."- Buffy

[Angel slams against invisible barrier in front of door]
"Sorry, Angel. Changed the locks."- Buffy

"What is this?"- Dracula
"My true nature. You want a taste?"- Buffy

"What do we know?"- Buffy
"Dog spit is cleaner than human."- Xander

"But I'm sure it wasn't your fault. He started it."- Willow
"Yeah. That defense only works in six-year-old court, Will."- Buffy

"Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever, and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures."- Buffy
"Okay, the Angel thing went badly, I'm on board with that, but that's not your fault. And anyways, love isn't always like that. Love can be... nice."- Willow

"You sounded like Mr. Initiative. "Demons bad, people good.""- Buffy
"Somethin' wrong with that theorem?"- Riley

"We have a marching jazz band?"- Buffy
"Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats... scary."- Oz

[after a fight with Willow and Xander]
"So... I guess I'm starting to understand why there's no ancient prophecy about a Chosen One and her friends."- Buffy

"How serious are you about this?"- Giles
"10? Serious to the amount of 10?"- Buffy

"Terrifying. If I were Abbot and Costello this would be fairly traumatic."- Buffy

"The Master rose. He let me live... to punish me. I kept hopin' maybe you'd come. My destiny..."- Angel
"Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the second coming."- Buffy

"You look great, Mr. About To Get Married. You're glowing. Oh, my God. Maybe you're pregnant!"- Buffy

[examing the defeated Octarus's ring] "You're in danger. You know what the ring means?"- Angel
"I just killed a Super Bowl champ?"- Buffy

"Why are you riding me?"- Angel

"Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Was that an offensive term? Should I say 'undead American'?"- Buffy

"It's dead."- Xander
"Yep."- Buffy
"Is anyone else waiting for it to go poof? Maybe we can cover it with flowers."- Willow

"Just making sure there are no more evil "trio" cameras. Or... evil "uno"."- Buffy
"The sinister yet addictive card game?"- Xander

"I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every, single person on the face of the Earth to do it."- Buffy
"Yay?"- Xander

"I went to see the Oracles again. I asked them to change me back."- Angel
"What? Why?"- Buffy
"Because more than ever I know how much I love you."- Angel

"You would just love an excuse to hurt him, wouldn't you?"- Buffy
"I don't need an excuse. I think lots of dead people actually constitutes a reason!"- Xander

"Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would *love* to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save the world. Again."- Buffy

"So what'd you do for your birthday? D'you have fun?"- Joyce
"I got older."- Buffy

"You're going to hell!"- Angelus
"Save me a seat."- Buffy

"Remember when things used to be nice and boring?"- Buffy
"No."- Willow

"What do we know?"- Buffy
"Dog spit is cleaner than human."- Xander

"Are you drunk?"- Buffy
"Yes, quite a bit actually."- Giles

"This is not the mother ship, people. This is ugly dead come to play."- Buffy

"What's with all the tragedy masks?"- Buffy

"Spike is the strongest warrior we have. And we are gonna need him if we're gonna come out of this thing alive. If you try anything again, he'll kill you. More importantly, I'll let him."- Buffy

"The world wants me gone."- Angel
"What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help. And I hate it. I hate that it's so hard, and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did because you did it to me. Oh God, I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't."- Buffy

"Faith has you at a disadvantage, Buffy."- Giles
"'Cause I'm not crazy, or 'cause I don't kill people?"- Buffy
"Both, actually."- Giles

[as her memory returns] "Hi, honey, I'm home."- Buffy
[beats up Spike]
"You know what? It's good to be me."- Buffy

"Don't hit the horsies!"- Willow
"We won't."- Buffy
[to Giles]
"Aim for the horsies."- Buffy

"God! I am so mentally challenged."- Buffy

"We survived."- Oz
"It was a hell of a battle."- Buffy
"Not the battle. High School."- Oz

"Come on. Say it. We're "bloody well" talking about this! Tell me to kill my sister."- Buffy

[to Giles] "It's the weirdest thing. He's got two little-little holes in his neck and all his blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, "Ooooh"?"- Buffy

"I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil and that I was chosen to fight it. I wish a whole lot of the time that I hadn't been. I know a lot of you wish I hadn't been, either. This isn't about wishes. This is about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes. Not when its army is ready. Now. Tomorrow morning, I'm opening the seal. I'm going down into the Hellmouth and I am finishing this once and for all. Right now, you're asking yourself what makes this different. What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one? It's true. None of you have the power that Faith and I do. So here's the part where you make a choice."- Buffy

"She saw these scores and her head spun around and exploded."- Buffy
"I-I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?"- Giles

"Cool. You guys can do the brain thing. I'm gonna go to class."- Buffy
"Which could also be construed as the brain thing."- Oz

[Tara wants to know whether Buffy is okay after having confessed to Tara that she'd been having an affair with Spike]
"So, is, um, Spike coming?"- Tara
"No. He may be a chip-head, but he still doesn't play too well with others. Besides, I'm definitely not ready to..."- Buffy
"Come out."- Tara
"Yeah. I'm all stay-inny."- Buffy

"She was looking to go all payback-y on Glory for a minute, but I cooled her down a little. Actually a lot."- Buffy
"So, she's not gonna do anything rash then."- Spike
"No. I explained there was no point."- Buffy
"Mm-hmm."- Spike
"What?"- Buffy
"You... so you're saying that a powerful and mightily pissed off witch was planning on going and spilling herself a few pints of god blood until you, what...”explained"?"- Spike
"You think she...? No. I told Willow it would be like suicide."- Buffy
"I'd do it. Right person. Person I loved. I'd do it."- Spike

"There's mention some two hundred years ago in Ireland of-of Angelus, the one with the angelic face."- Rupert
"They got that right."- Buffy

"Honey, did you somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals?"- Joyce
"Uh... I do beat him up a lot. For Spike, that's like third base."- Buffy

"So what do we do?"- Dawn
"Easy. We burn the house to the ground and collect the insurance. Plus, fire. Pretty."- Buffy

"Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will *always* love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world... is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."- Buffy

"How did you find me here?"- Buffy
"If I was blind I would see you."- Angel

"So, let me get this strait. I'm really back in school because the School Board overruled you. Wow! That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it."- Buffy
"I think what my daughter's trying to say is, "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah."- Joyce

"I'm way off my game. My game's left the country. It's in Cuernavaca!"- Buffy

"Buffy want beer."- Buffy

"What are you doing Buffy?"- Willow
"Nothing... checking for horns."- Buffy

"I told one lie... I had one drink..."- Buffy
"Yes. And you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words, "Let that be a lesson" are a tad redundant at this juncture."- Giles

"I want you to get a message to Angel for me. Tell him I'm done waiting. I'm taking the fight to him. You got that? Need me to write it down for ya?"- Buffy

"Is this hell?"- Buffy

"Buffy, you will go to the Gleaves family crypt tonight and fetch the amulet."- Wesley
"I will?"- Buffy
[pauses] "Are you not used to being given orders?"- Wesley
"Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says 'please'. And afterwards I get a cookie."- Buffy
[she grins at Giles]

"I can't wait till Mom gets the bill for these books. I hope it's a funny aneurysm."- Buffy

[Xander is wearing a speedo]
"I'm undercover."- Xander
"Not under much."- Buffy

"Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and a... third unmeshable thing."- Buffy

"Harmony's a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection."- Buffy

"Touch me and my sister's gonna kill you."- Dawn
[Cyrus pokes Dawn with his finger; after a moment, he is staked by Buffy]
"Can't say she didn't warn him."- Buffy

"I'm rash and impulsive. It's a flaw."- Buffy

[frustrated] "Who are you?"- Buffy
"I apologize. I assumed you knew. I am Dracula."- Dracula
[unbelieving] "Get out!"- Buffy

"Gee, can you vague that up for me?"- Buffy

"And I'm supposed to just help you out of the evilness of my heart?"- Spike

"Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye all warm and safe where nothing can eat you?"- Spike
"Is that supposed to scare me?"- Dawn
"Little tremble wouldn't hurt."-- Spike
"Sorry, it's just - Come on, I'm badder than you."- Dawn
"Are not."- Spike
"Am too. You're standing in the bushes hugging a bent box of chocolates, and I'm..."- Dawn
"What? sneaking out to braid hair and watch Teletubbies with your mates?"- Spike

"Just give me something, a crumb, the barest smidgen. Tell me maybe, someday, there's a chance."- Spike
"Spike... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious."- Buffy

[shouting] "Aaaarrrggghh! Gaaagggghhhhhh! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?"- Spike
"Which question do you want me to answer first?"- Buffy

"This is all you get. I'm listening. Tell me what happened."- Buffy
"I tried to find it of course."- Spike
"Find what?"- Buffy
"The spark. The missing - the piece, that fit. That made me fit because you didn't want- I can't. Not with you looking. I dreamed of killing you. I think they were dreams. So weak. Did you make me weak? Thinking of you? Hauling myself, and spilling useless buckets of salt over your- ending. Angel, he should've warned me. Makes a good show of forgetting, but, it's here. In me. All the time. The spark. I wanted to give you what you deserve. And I got it. They put the spark in me and now all it does is burn."- Spike
"Your soul."- Buffy
"Bit worse for lack of use."- Spike

"You've really got a yen to hurt this girl, haven't you?"- Spike
"She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kinda thing you just forgive."- Angelus

"So... if any of us makes it through this alive, does one of us get to be a real boy?"- Spike
"Who are you kidding, Spike? You know that none of us are gonna make it through this night alive."- Angel
"Good. As long as it's not you."- Spike

"Andrew double crossed us? That's a good move."- Spike
[chuckles]
"Hope for the little ponce yet."- Spike

"What's this? Sittin' around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What? Can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her. She is the chosen one, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them, for justice, and for... the safety of puppies... and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on!"- Spike

"Illyria?"- Wesley
"Touch me and die vermin."- Illyria
"Not a very dramatic difference really."- Spike

"Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you wanna dance."- Spike
"Say it's true. Say I do want to. It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you. You're beneath me."- Buffy

"You wanna know what I'm scared of, Spike? Me. Right now, Glory thinks Tara's the Key. But I'm the Key, Spike. I am. And anything that happens to Tara... is 'cause of me. Your bruises, your limp... that's all me, too. I'm like a lightning rod for pain, and hurt... and everyone around me suffers and dies. I must be something so horrible to cause so much pain and evil."- Dawn
"Rot."- Spike
"What do you know?"- Dawn
"I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil."- Spike
"Maybe I'm not evil. But I don't think I can be good."- Dawn
"Well, I'm not good, and I'm okay."- Spike

"Bloody Brilliant! Turn the poor sod to save the ship and then make him dash for dry land before Mr. Sunshine scorches him a new one. You're still a dick."- Spike
"Yeah, I am."- Angel
[looks up at the hatch]
"Bollocks."- Spike
[climbs ladder]

[last line in Season 6]
"You have endured the required trials."- Cave Demon

"Bloody right I have. So you give me what I want. Make me what I was, so Buffy can get what she deserves."- Spike
"Very well. We will return your soul."- Cave Demon
[Spike yells in pain as he gets his soul back]

"Come on. You're not the long haul guy and you know it."- Spike
"Shut up."- Riley
"You know it. Or else you wouldn't be getting suck jobs from two-bit vampire trolls. The girl needs some monster in her man... and that's not in your nature... no matter how low you try to go."- Spike

"It's over."- Buffy
"I've memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what you want."- Spike
"I know that. I do want you. Being with you... makes things... simpler. For a little while."- Buffy

"I don't call five hours straight a little while."- Spike
"I'm using you. I can't love you. I'm just... being weak, and selfish..."- Buffy
"Really not complaining here."- Spike
"And it's killing me. I have to be strong about this. I'm sorry William."- Buffy

"Hi everybody. I missed you guys a lot. Sorry it took so long to get back from our mission-mission, but we had to wait out the sun. Well, I think our-our mission went very well. We, uh, we rode on Spike's hog, which was very cool, and, uh, uh, played some amusing games, and, uh - Oh. We got some information. You know what? I really need to urinate."- Andrew
"He's a breath of fresh air, innit he? Thank God I don't breathe."- Spike

"It's nothing I know. What, you think I'd come running over saying, "I've got a secret. Beat me till I talk"?"- Spike

[sings] "The torch I bear is scorching me. Buffy's laughing, I've no doubt. I hope she fries! I'm free if that bitch dies! I'd better help her out!"- Spike

"Have we met?"- Joyce
"Uh, you hit me with an axe one time. Remember, uh, "Get the hell away from my daughter"?"- Spike

"Bugger that. Do it yourself."- Spike

[Spike wants Willow to do a spell for him]
"Well, if at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him..."- Spike
[indicates Xander]
"and you try again."- Spike

"What could you possibly do to me? I've been trapped in this house for weeks like a..."- Eve
"Rat? Snake? Beady little rat snake?"- Spike

"Spike, I'm cold."- Drusilla
"I got you."- Spike
"I'm a princess."- Drusilla
"That's what you are."- Spike

"Yeah, I did a couple o' Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag."- Spike
[laughs]
"Who am I kidding? I love to brag!"- Spike

[after Willow's spell, Buffy thinks she and Spike are engaged]
"I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity."- Buffy
"Yeah, right, you're marrying Spike because you're so right for each other."- Xander
"Xander!"- Buffy
"That's it, you're off the usher list."- Spike

[as the Camaro SS is driving itself]
"This is weirdin' me out. Is this weirding you out?"- Angel

"What, you never heard of Knight Rider? Knight Industries 2000? KITT? Never mind."- Spike

"Okay. Is it bigger than a breadbox?"- Spike
"No. Four left."- Harmony
"So it's smaller than a breadbox."- Spike
"Heh heh. No, only three."- Harmony
"Harmony, is it a sodding breadbox?"- Spike
"Yes! Oh, my God! Someone's blondy bear is a 20-Question genius."- Harmony

[on a private jet to England in an attempt to save Fred]
"Can't lose her, Spike."- Angel
"You won't."- Spike
"I lost Cordy."- Angel

[stops Buffy in mid-dance - sings] "Life's not a song. Life isn't bliss, life is just this. It's living. You'll get along. The pain that you feel can only heal by living. You have to go on living. So one of us is living."- Spike

"Oh, Spike, devour me."- Buffy Bot
"All right."- Spike
"Spike, I can't help myself. I love you."- Buffy Bot
"You're mine, Buffy."- Spike
"Should I start this program over?"- Buffy Bot
"Shh. No programs, don't use that word. Just be Buffy."- Spike

[on phone] "You took my Viper."- Angel
"My Viper now, mate. Possession's nine-tenths. Oughta know that, runnin' a law firm and such."- Spike

"Welcome to the planet. We all paint on our happy faces every day, when all we really want is to pound the neighbor's missus, steal his Ben Franklins, and while we're at it *not* think about the third of the world that's starvin' to death."- Spike

[about Fred] "I should never have let her come here. Bad things always happen here."- Angel
"Hate to break it to you, mate, but bad things always happen everywhere."- Spike

"Where we're goin', not in the Thomas Guide."- Gunn
"There's gonna be fire."- Spike

[Eve's replacement as the Senior Partner's liaison reaches in his jacket pocket and pulls out a pen] "Wow. Didn't see that coming."- Spike

"You'd think if the government was gonna put a chip in my head, they'd at least make it so that I could attack criminals and that sort."- Spike
"Yes, because muggers deserve to be eaten. You'll just have to get your rocks off fightin' demons."- Buffy
[looking at her suggestively] "There are other ways."- Spike
" And to that, an extreme "See you later.""- Buffy

"I'm drownin' in footwear!"- Spike
[wakes up]
"Weird dream."- Spike

"Time to slay."- Buffy Bot
[sleeping] "Yeah. Yeah."- Spike
"Vampires of the world beware."- Buffy Bot

"Pretty please? I'll do anything."- Harmony
"Anything, will you?"- Spike
"Yeah, I said I'll do anything. Oh. You mean, will I have sex with you? Well, yeah."- Harmony

[Harmony opens the package for Spike, and there is a bright flash] "Well, that was a slap and a tickle."- Spike

[about Drusilla] "It's like she's still got a bit of a child in her."- Spike
"Perhaps two or three by now."- Angelus

"You're a tease, you know that slayer? Get a fella's motor revin', let the tension marinate a couple of days, then bam- Crown yourself the ice queen."- Spike
"Need a few more metaphors for that little mix?"- Buffy

"I wanna be like you. A vampire."- Ford
"I've known you for two minutes and I can't stand you. I don't really feature you living forever."- Spike
[to Dru]
"Can I eat him now, love?"- Spike

"Was that your best, Slayer?"- Spike
"No."- Buffy Bot
"Why not?"- Spike
"I wanna hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body."- Buffy Bot

"Now we just let them come to a simmering boil, then remove to a low flame."- Spike

[as the group ponders how to stop Glory]
"Okay, but I'm still not hearing enough ideas. She's a God, let's think outside the box."- Anya
"Why don't you go think outside the bleeding box."- Spike
"Yes, Anya. Apart from your incredibly uninfectious enthusiasm have you anything else to contribute?"- Giles
"The Dagon Sphere."- Anya
"Sorry?"- Giles
"When Buffy first met Glory she found that magical, glowy sphere that was meant to repel Glory. We've got it in the basement. It might drive her away or hurt her. Oh. And Olaf the troll god's enchanted hammer. You wanna fight a god, use the weapon of a god."- Anya
"Nah, that thing's too heavy to..."- Spike
[Buffy easily picks up the hammer]
"Yeah, good."- Spike
"I like this. Thanks."- Buffy
"Here to help. Wanna live."- Anya

"Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing..."- Spike
"You don't know what you mean. You don't know what feelings are."- Buffy
"I damn well do. I lie awake every night."- Spike
"You sleep during the day."- Buffy
"Yeah, but- You are missin' the point. This is real here. I love..."- Spike
"Don't! Don't say it. I'm going."- Buffy

[We see, through the lens of the videocam, Spike pulling a cigarette from his mouth and yelling at Andrew]
"I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera, yet here you are again with that thing in my face. Would you sod off before I rip your throat out and eat y..."- Spike
"Uh, Spike? The light was kind of behind you."- Andrew
"Oh, right. Uh... What, is this better, then? - I thought I told you to piss off with that bloody camera; here you are again with that thing in my face. Would you sod off -?"- Spike

[answers phone] "Hello, Magic Box."- Buffy
[deep voice] "Slayer."- Buffy
"Spike?"- Buffy
[deep voice] "Meet me at the cemetery. Twenty minutes. Come alone."- Spike
"Spike?"- Buffy
[mutters under breath] "Bloody hell."- Spike
[normal voice]
"Yes, it's me."- Spike
"You're calling me on the phone?"- Buffy
"Just be there."- Spike
"Why? Are you helping again?"- Buffy
[loud enough for Xander and Anya to hear]
"You have a lead on this frost monster thingy?"- Buffy
"Something like that, yeah. Thought you might be up for a little grunt work."- Spike
"What?"- Buffy
[whispering]
"No, no grunting."- Buffy
[pause] "I was talking shop, love, but if you've got other ideas. You. Me. Cozy little tomb with a view."- Spike
[Buffy hangs up quickly]

"It's nothing I know. What, you think I'd come running over saying, "I've got a secret. Beat me till I talk"? "- Spike

"And this, bloody hell, wasn't mine. I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I've got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be lead around by..."- Spike
"Excuse me?"- Fred
"Did - Did you just say - Spike has a soul? You never said."- Wes
"Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know."- Angel
"Seems to be a lot of that."- Gunn
"Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club. Another vampire with a soul in the world."- Spike
"You're not *in* the world, Casper."- Angel

[after Spike slays a vampire for her]
"Spike, why did you do that?"- Buffy
"Not for money, if that's what you're thinkin'. Your heartfelt gratitude's plenty. 'Spect I'll be getting that any moment."- Spike
"Gratitude? For getting in my way?"- Buffy
"G-Getting in your way? I saved you."- Spike
"I was regrouping."- Buffy
"You were about to be regrouped into separate piles. You needed help."- Spike
"I didn't need you. I never need you, Spike."- Buffy
"Oh, I get it. You just don't like who did the rescuing, that's all. Wishin' I was your boyfriend what's-his-height... Oh, wait, he's run off."- Spike
"You know what? I don't need a boyfriend. To rescue me or for any other reason."- Buffy
"Don't need or can't keep? You keep making notches in the headboard, but eventually, they get up out of the bed and run off, don't they?"- Spike
"You're disgusting."- Buffy
"Rough talk. Maybe that's your problem. Maybe you push 'em away? Or is it the other? Maybe you cling too much? Or maybe, your beauty's fading. The stress of slaying aging you prematurely. Things not as high, not as firm."- Spike
"You know what, Spike? The more I get to know you, the more I wish I didn't."- Buffy
"Or maybe you just don't hold their interest."- Spike
[walks away]

"Come to tap dance on the patient have we, doc? I'd give you the finger, but apparently I won't have the motor skills until the drugs wear off."- Spike
"A lot of pain?"- Angel
"More than I'd like. But not as much as you would. Just what I deserve."- Spike
"I didn't say that."- Angel
"No, I did. The lass thought I killed her family. And I'm supposed to, what, complain cuz her's wasn't one of the hundreds of families I did kill? I'm not sayin' you're right, cuz, uh, I'm physically incapable of saying that. But, uh, for a demon I never did think that much about the nature of evil. No. Just threw myself in. Thought it was a party. I liked the rush, I liked the crunch. Never did look back at the victims."- Spike
"I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was only in it for the evil. That was everything to me. It was art... the destruction of a human being. Jeez, I would've considered Dana a masterpiece."- Angel

[of Buffy's bloodied hands] "I was gonna fix 'em... I don't know how they got like that."- Dawn
"I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how. Isn't that right?"- Spike
"Yeah... that's what I had to do."- Buffy
"Done it myself."- Spike

[about the cyborg] "This thing really blurs the line between human and robot."- Fred
"Aha. So you're not ruling out that a human being could have boffed a robot."- Spike
[everyone stares at him]
"Sex with robots is more common than most people think."- Spike

"Like I'd bite you anyway."- Spike
"Oh, you would."- Xander
"Not bloody likely."- Spike

"I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist, and delicious."- Xander
"All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat."- Spike
"And don't you forget it."- Xander

[Spike has explained that blood smells like pennies taste]
"Blood. Smells different. Stronger."- Spike
"Like nickels?"- Andrew

"Still not sure why Blondie Ghost tagged along."- Gunn
"Not much choice really, is there? Can't drink, smoke, diddle my willy. Doesn't leave much to do other than watch you blokes stumble around playin' Agatha Christie."- Spike
"Yeah, remind me again how you ended up in the front seat."- Wesley
"Called shotgun, mate."- Spike
"Oh. I thought we were doing a weapons check."- Wesley
"Nothin' wrong with that. We may need these bad boys if we're goin' up against some Mexican Day of the Dead heart-suckin' monster."- Gunn
"Angel, the church we're looking for is about half a mile..."- Wesley
[Angel interrupts by pulling a screeching U-Turn]
"Always was a bit of a drama queen."- Spike

"What about her - If her organs have been liquefied?"- Gunn
[raises hand] "Flash fried in a pillar of fire, savin' the world. I got better."- Spike

[last lines]
"You got your soul back. How?"- Buffy
"It's what you wanted, right? It's-It's what *you* wanted, right? And-and now everybody's in here, talking. Everything I did, everyone I- and him. And it. The other... the thing... beneath... beneath you. It's here, too. Everybody... they all just tell me go. Go... to hell."- Spike
"Why? Why would you do that?"- Buffy
"Buffy, shame on you. Why does a man do what he mustn't? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev- To be a kind of man. And she shall look on him with forgiveness... and everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything's okay, right? C-can we rest now? Buffy? Can we rest?"- Spike

"This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms."- Anya
"Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?"- Xander
"Oh, we're not your friends. Go on."- Spike
"Please don't."- Giles

"In my head. The chip in my head."- Spike
"We're kind of in the middle of somethin'."- Warren
"Well, you can play holodeck another time. Right now, I'm in charge."- Spike
"Yeah, what are you gonna do if we don't especially feel like maybe playing your- What are - wait, what are you doing?"- Warren
[Spike rips Boba Fett action figure off its base]
"Examine my chip or else Mr. Fett here is the first to die."- Spike
"Hey! All - All right. Let's not - Let's not not do anything crazy here."- Jonathan
"That's a limited edition, 1979 mint condition Boba Fett."- Andrew
"All right, dude, chill. You can still make it right. You know you don't wanna do this."- Warren
"What I want is answers, nimrod!"- Spike
"Right. But you don't want to hurt the Fett... because, man, you're not comin' back from that! You know, you don't just do that and walk away."- Warren
"That right? Let's find out."- Spike
[about to rip head off of action figure]
"One sec - One second."- Warren

"I need you to take Spike for a few days."- Giles
"What?"- Xander
"What?"- Spike
"What?"- Anya
"I'm not stayin' with him."- Spike
"I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone."- Giles
"Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?"- Anya
"Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said."- Giles

"You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and me. I know you feel something."- Spike
"It's called revulsion. And whatever you think you're feeling it's not love. You can't love without a soul."- Buffy
"Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well... if not wisely."- Drusilla

"I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all twitchy and secretive."- Dawn

"They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect."- Spike
I feel safe with you."- Dawn
[almost chokes] "Take that back!"- Spike

[after being trapped by the Initiative, thinking Buffy's behind it]
"I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding."- Spike

"You got no idea how rotten this feels."- Spike
"Oh, amazingly enough, I do. Yeah. Got my hand cut off a few years back. Line of duty. So believe me when I tell you I can feel your pain."- Lindsey
"Well, half of it anyway. I'll give ya that."- Spike

"You know what? I don't think you want us to let you go. Maybe we made it a little too comfy in here for ya."- Buffy
"Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinkin' pig's blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rate huge in the Zagat's guide."- Spike

[Glory is torturing Spike to find who the Key is] "The key. Here's the thing. It's that guy, on TV. What's his name."- Spike
[confused] "On the television?"- Glory
"On that show, the price show where they guess what stuff costs."- Spike
"The Price is Right?"- Murk
"Bob Barker!"- Jinx
[to Glory] "We will bring you Bob Barker! We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker!"- Murk
"It is not Bob Barker you scabby morons! The key is new to this world and Bob Barker is as old as grit!"- Glory

"Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?"- Harmony
"No."- Spike
"Oh. Can I make him a vampire?"- Harmony
"No. Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids, as well."- Spike

"You're a dope."- Buffy
"I'm a what?"- Spike
"You're a dope, a-and a bonehead, and you're shirty."- Buffy
"Have you gone completely Carrot-top?"- Spike
"Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything and the reason I'm holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. I am tired of defensiveness and-and weird mixed signals - You know what? I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth, here, okay? I don't know how you felt about last night, but I will not..."- Buffy
"Terrified."- Spike

[angrily] "What did you do?"- Buffy
"What I had to. I went back and I took care of it. It doesn't matter now. No one will ever find her."- Spike
[coming out of the police station] "Where'd they find her?"- Cop 1
"The river. She washed up half a mile from the cemetery."- Cop 2
"Oh, balls."- Spike

"Oh, you have got to be joking. What now?"- Spike
"It has to access the cerebral cortex via the optic nerve."- Giles
"Oh, bollocks. All the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder there's any room for my brain."- Spike
"I don't think it takes up that much space, do you?"- Giles

[Spike and Drusilla do not know Angel has lost his soul]
"Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?"-Spike
"Well, he moves to New York and tries to fulfill that Broadway dream. It's tough sledding, but one day he's working in the chorus when the big star twists her ankle."- Angelus
"You don't give up, do you?"- Spike
"As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking... well, rolling the streets... I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there."- Angelus

"How did you get in?"- Giles
"The door was unlocked. You might want to watch that, Rupert. Someone dangerous could get in."- Spike
"Or, someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying."- Buffy

[Dru has broken up with Spike]
"We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times."- Spike
[chuckling]
"You know, he begged for mercy, and, you know, that only made her bite harder."- Spike
"I guess you had to be there."- Buffy

"To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you."- Buffy

[the Judge demon is urged by Spike to burn all the goodness out of Angel who's turned into Angelus]
"Hurts, doesn't it?"- Spike
"Well, you know, it kinda itches a little."- Angelus
"Don't just stand there, burn him!"- Spike
[nothing happens]
"Gee, maybe he's broken."- Angelus
"What the hell is going on?"- Spike
[letting Angelus go] "This one cannot be burned. He's clean."- The Judge
"Clean? You mean he's..."- Spike
"There's no humanity in him."- The Judge
"Couldn't have said it better myself."- Angelus
"Angel?"- Drusilla
"Yeah, baby, I'm back."- Angelus

[to the remains of the Order of Aurelius]
"Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them."- Spike

[Spike is a human] "Oh, uh, quickly. I'm the very spirit of vexation. What's another word for "gleaming"? It's a perfectly perfect word as many words go but the bother is nothing rhymes, you see."- Spike

"Hey, big guy. Need another car. 'Fraid this last one ended up in the drink."- Spike
[pause]
"Spike..."- Angel
"Look at you."- Spike
"Spike, just turn around and walk away."- Angel
"You're a..."- Spike
"Spike!"- Angel
"You're a bloody puppet!"- Spike

[Joyce and Dawn are staying with Spike]
"Just don't break anything. And don't make a lotta noise. Passions is comin' on."- Spike
"Passions? Oh, do you think Timmy's really dead?"- Joyce
"Oh, no, no. She can just sew him back together. He's a doll, for God's sake."- Spike
"Ah, what about the wedding? I mean, there's no way they're gonna go through with that."- Joyce

"Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're lookin' for, we're facing an apocalypse."- Xander
excitedly] "Really! You're not just sayin' that?"- Spike

"Are you insane? We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in her friends' beds."- Spike
"But, Spike, the bad teacher was going to restore Angel's soul."- Drusilla
"What if she did? If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new, improved one is not playing with a full sack. I love a good slaughter as much as the next bloke, but his little pranks will only leave us with one incredibly brassed-off Slayer."- Spike
"Don't worry, roller boy. I've got everything under control."- Angelus
[a Molotov cocktail smashes on the table, setting the place afire]

"You sing the sweetest little song. Won't you sing for me, hmm? Don't you love me anymore?"- Drusilla
[the image pulls back to Drusilla talking to a little canary lying dead in a birdcage]
"Darling, I heard a funny thing just now. Lucius tells me that you went out on the hunt the other night."- Spike
"My tummy was growly, and you were out."- Drusilla
[to the bird]
"Come on."- Drusilla
[whistles]
"I'll pout if you don't sing."- Drusilla
"You, um, meet anyone? Anyone interesting, like Angel?"- Spike
"Angel."- Drusilla
"Yeah. So what might you guys have talked about, then? Old times, childhood pranks? It's a little off, you two so friendly, him being the enemy, and all that."- Spike

[still to the bird] "I'll give you a seed if you sing."- Drusilla
"The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in a cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one."- Spike
[Drusilla cowers and whines] "

[Spike tells Willow about his breakup with Drusilla]
"She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know, some little sign that she cared? It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care. So, we got to Brazil and she was... she was just different. I gave her everything. Beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would flirt. I caught her on a park bench making out with a Chaos Demon. Have you ever seen a Chaos Demon? They're all slime and antlers; they're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, "I'm not putting up with this anymore." And she said, "Fine." And I said, "Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know." And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy."- Spike
"There, there."- Willow
"I mean, "Friends." How could she be so cruel?"- Spike

"Me and Dru, we're movin' in. Now, any of you wanna test who's got the biggest wrinklies 'round here, step on up."- Spike
[to The Anointed One]
"I'll do your Slayer for you. But you keep your flunkies from tryin' anything behind my back. Deal?"- Spike
[the Anointed One nods]
"I can't see her. The Slayer. I can't see. It's dark where she is. Kill her. Kill her, Spike. Kill her for me?"- Drusilla
"It's done, baby."- Spike
"Kill her for princess?"- Drusilla
"I'll chop her into messes."- Spike

"Are we feeling better, then?"- Spike
"I'm naming all the stars."- Drusilla
"You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also it's day."- Spike
"I can see them. But I've named them all the same name, and there's terrible confusion."- Drusilla

[on phone] "Himalayas? I thought she was in South America."- Angel
"We got a branch in Tibet? How 'bout a couple of Sherpas?"- Spike
"Alright, look - What do you mean she's not on this plane? You just said - Astral projection? Well, is there any way to get her astral to L.A.? Giles, this is an emergency."- Angel

[Spike opens the door for Buffy]
"What are you doing?"- Buffy
"I... Uh, it was... I wasn't thinking."- Spike
"What is this?"- Buffy
"Oh, don't get your knickers twisted, I was..."- Spike
"What is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask. Is this a date?"- Buffy
"A d- please. A date. You are completely off your bird. I mean- Do you want it to be?"- Spike
"Uhh. Oh, my God."- Buffy

"Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet? I saw her patrolling just now... with a stake. She won't give up until she's killed me to death."- Harmony
"Buffy's looking for you?"- Spike
"Of course. That's why I'm on the lam. Didn't you hear? I'm totally her arch-nemesis."- Harmony
"Is that right? I must've missed the memo."- Spike
"There was a mem- Spike, oh my God, this is like a real emergency."- Harmony

"Looks like an old vineyard."- Buffy
"An evil vineyard, huh."- Kennedy
"Like Falcon Crest."- Spike

[thinking he's still a ghost, Spike runs into a door]
"Bugger, that hurt!"- Spike

"So what sort of damage are we lookin' at if Illyria Chernobyls on us?"- Spike
"Conservative guess, several city blocks."- Wesley
"And what about unconservative?"- Angel
"Rand and McNally will have to redraw their maps."- Wesley

[reading from Giles' notes] "They had to be certain the Slayer would protect it with her life. So they sent the key to her... in human form. In the form of a sister." Huh. I guess that's you, nibblet."- Spike

[after Drogyn has given Spike a look because of his question asking] "What's your favorite color? What's your favorite song? Who's the goalkeeper for Manchester United? And how many fingers am I holding up? You wanna kill me. Try. I don't have time for your quirks."- Spike

[last lines; the gang faces an endless onslaught of demons]
"And in terms of a plan?"- Spike
"We fight."- Angel
"Bit more specific?"- Spike
"Well, personally, I kinda wanna slay the dragon. Let's go to work."- Angel

"Harmony just pulled me out of a very promising poker game down in Accounts Receivable, so this better be good. Oh, and, by the way, all the guys down there agree that astronauts don't stand a chance against cavemen, so don't even start."- Spike

"Get out of here, all of you. Unless you want to end up all dead and useless."- Spike
"What are you gonna do?"- Kennedy
"What I do best."- Spike

"Dear Buffy. Hm. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards."- Angelus
"Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression."- Spike
"Lacks... poetry."- Angelus
"Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?"- Spike

[about Buffy] "I'd think you'd want to kill her. You've killed Slayers before."- Lydia
[steps forward] "Heard of me, have you?"- Spike
"I... wrote my thesis on you."- Lydia

"Do you two need to be alone or can we get on with the ouchy part?"- Spike

[chanting] "She will come for me. She will come for me."- Spike
[as The First] "No, I won't."- Buffy

[human Spike has told Cecily he loves her]
"I know I'm a bad poet, but I'm a good man. And all I ask is that - Is-is that you try to see me..."- Spike
"I do see you. That's the problem. You're nothing to me, William. You're beneath me."- Cecily

"Caught me fair and square, white hat. Guess there's nothin' to do now but go along quietly and pay my debt to society."- Spike

[bursts in with tarp over him; smoking] "Close the door!"- Spike
"Spike? You may want to give up these morning jogs."- Xander

"But she's not finished baking yet! I gotta wait 'til she's done baking. You know, 'til she finds herself. 'Cause that's the drill. Fine. I'm waitin' patiently, and meanwhile,"- Angel
[shouting]
"The Immortal's eatin' cookie dough!"- Angel
"Uh, Spike, is Angel crying?"- Andrew
"No."- Spike
[pause]
"Not yet."- Spike

"When do we destroy the world, already?"- Spike

"Magic shop, eh? All number of beasties between here and there. Bet they'd really go for a Little Red Riding Hood like you. That wouldn't set too well with big sister."- Spike
"I can take care of myself."- Dawn
[pause]
"You wanna come steal some stuff?"- Dawn
"Yeah, all right."- Spike

"And if Dru dies... your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates are spared her coming out party."- Spike

"You're a dope."- Buffy
"I'm a what?"- Spike
"You're a dope, a-and a bonehead, and you're shirty."- Buffy
"Have you gone completely Carrot-top?"- Spike
"Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war. This might be the key to everything and the reason I'm holding it is because of you. Because of the strength that you gave me last night. I am tired of defensiveness and-and weird mixed signals - You know what? I have Faith for that. Let's just get to the truth, here, okay? I don't know how you felt about last night, but I will not..."- Buffy
"Terrified."- Spike

[as Xander walks in on Spike and invisible Buffy] "Spike? What are you doing?"- Xander
"What am I-... What does it look like I'm doing, you nit? I'm exercising, aren't I?"- Spike
[starts doing "push-ups"]
"Exercising? Naked? In bed?"- Xander
"A man shouldn't use immortality as an excuse to let himself go. You gotta keep fit for killing."- Spike
"Ya-huh."- Xander

[to Willow and Xander] "*Buffy* fights the forces of evil. You're her groupies."- Spike

[after Angel kills Hainsley by throwing a silver dish plate at him, Spike's ghostly head sticks out]
"Oh, bollocks."- Spike
[Hainsley's body falls to the floor]
"I was just getting warmed up."- Spike
That was you hitting me?"- Angel
"The last bit, yeah. Hainsley's been dead since he hit the table. Oh, come on. Had to get a few licks in, didn't I?"- Spike

"Just since you're all soulful now, I thought maybe, just maybe, you might've learned to open up a little. You know, talk? But I guess a leopard can't change his stripes."- Harmony
"Spots, you dink. Leopards have spots."- Spike
"Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Brainy. Thank you so much for sharing. Wow. What a breakthrough."- Harmony

"Buffy's a great mom. She takes good care of her little sis, like, um, when Dawn was hanging out too much in my crypt, Buffy put a right stop to it."- Spike
"I'm sorry, did you say..."- Doris
"Crib. Crib. He said crib. You know kids today and their buggin' street slang. "- Buffy

[Buffy is anxious to leave after they've spent all night making love, and Spike is peeved] "What is this to you, this thing we have?"- Spike
"What? We don't have a... thing, we have this. That's all."- Buffy
"Do you even like me?"- Spike
[placating] "Sometimes."- Buffy
[He frowns; she looks away] "Thought you like what I do to you."- Spike
[She doesn't answer. He pulls out a pair of handcuffs and dangles them]
[very seriously] "Do you trust me?"- Spike
[Buffy pauses for a long time, then answers wistfully] "Never."- Buffy

[Spike asks Buffy to invite him into Giles house to get out of the sunlight]
"Come on. I-I'm parboiling out here."- Spike
[Giles hands Buffy a stake] "Want me to make it quicker?"- Buffy
[pitifully] "Invite me in!"- Spike
"No."- Buffy
"Fairly unlikely."- Giles
[Spike tries running in and is knocked back] "Oh, damn it! Look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell 'em what I did."- Spike
"Y-You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy."- Willow
"Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you."- Spike
"It's true. He had trouble performing."- Willow

"The vampire is lying to me."- Glory
"Yeah. But it was fun. And guess what, bitch? I'm not telling you jack. You're never gonna get your sodding key, 'cause you might be strong, but in our world, you're an idiot."- Spike
"I am a god."- Glory
"The god of what, bad home perms?"- Spike
"Shut up! I command you shut up!"- Glory
"Yeah, okay. Sorry, but I just had no idea that gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words, the Slayer is going to kick your skanky, lopsided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim, ex-god like you."- Spike

"Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn she's there! That nasty little face! That fancy shampoo commercial hair! That whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude!"- Spike
"Well, aren't we kinda unholy by def...?"- Harmony
"She follows me, you know. Tracks me down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike round the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout of torture."- Spike
[picks up a headstone and throws it]
"Spike!"- Harmony
"You don't understand. I can't get rid of her. She's everywhere. She's haunting me, Harmony. This has got to end."- Spike

[after bandaging Spike] "It'll be dark soon. I think it would be wise for you to leave Sunnydale."- Rupert
"I'm not going anywhere. Not until those bastards undo whatever they did to me. Put me back the way I was."- Spike
[sarcastic] "Sure. Just explain to the nice scientist guys that you really miss killing and torturing innocent people."- Xander
[hopefully] "You think that would work?"- Spike
"Spike. Lord knows why I'm telling you this... it's for your own good. As long as the Initiative is in operation, it's not safe for you here."- Rupert
[walking in] "No. It's not safe for any of us."- Buffy

"You don't want to kill her, do you? You want to hurt her. Just like you hurt me."- Drusilla
"Nobody knows me like you do, Dru."- Angelus
"She'd better not get in our way."- Spike
"Don't worry about it.- Angelus
"I do."- Spike
"Spike, my boy, you really don't get it. Do you? You tried to kill her, but you couldn't. Look at you. You're a wreck. She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl... you have to love her."- Angelus

"What, your Mom doesn't know?"- Spike
"Know what?"- Joyce
"That I'm, uh... in a band. A-A rock band with Spike, here."- Buffy
"Right, she plays the, duh, triangle."- Spike
"Drums."- Buffy
"Drums. Yeah, she's a-a hell on the old skins, you know."- Spike

[to Wesley] "What happened?"- Angel

[stepping in front of Wesley] "I can explain. Apparently when Percy here was younger he used to be known as Head Boy."- Spike
"Yeah, I already knew that."- Angel
"Right. I have nothing else to report."- Spike

"Nice job of blending in, girls."- Spike
"We're a bunch of 15-year-olds in a demon bar. How much blending did you think we were gonna do?"- Rona

"So you failed."- Adam
"Well, hey, you're supposed to be so smart. You let me plan this thing."- Spike
[Adam stares at him, unimpressed]
"Okay, let's not quibble about who failed who."- Spike

"You own nothing. This shouldn't be taking so long."- Xander
"Hang on. Let a fella get organized."- Spike
[Spike starts grabbing things]
"That's my radio!"- Xander
"And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil."- Spike

[to Spike whilst fighting]
"Is this your big strategy for gettin' the ring back?"- Angel
"I had a plan."- Spike
[Hurls Spike onto a car and pins him face first to the bonnet]
"You, a plan?"- Angel
"A good plan, smart plan, carefully laid out. But, I got bored."- Spike
[Spike pushes Angel against a wall]
"All that watching, waiting. My legs started to cramp."- Spike

[to Buffy, who is threatening him with a kitchen implement]
"Ah, ah, ah, this flapjack's not ready to be flipped!"- Spike

"Well, we can take care of the hungry. So, how's about you just sit down in one of the sturdier chairs, and we could have a calm talk and something to eat."- Xander
"Can it be babies?"- Olaf the Troll
"Well, not so much."- Xander
"Ooh."- Olaf the Troll
"But maybe some roast pigs and stags and much hearty grog."- Xander
"They've got this onion thing..."- Spike

"I lost a friend tonight..."- Buffy
[speaking at the same time] "I wasn't in on that raiding party."- Spike
"...and I may lose more. The whole Earth may be sucked into hell, and you want my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big ho? Well, let me take this opportunity to *not* care!"- Buffy
"I can't fight them both alone and neither can you."- Spike
[punches him] "I hate you!"- Buffy
"And I'm all you've got."- Spike

"Who are you?"- Buffy
"Let's just say, I'm a friend."- Angel
"Yeah, well maybe I don't want a friend."- Buffy
"I didn't say I was yours."- Angel

"You're not exactly the whiz these days either. God, I'm never gonna get paid."- Spike
"I am a whiz."- Willow
"She is a whiz."- Tara
"If ever a whiz there was."- Willow

[Standing before the gang as they prepare to leave to fight evil hell-goddess Glory]
"Remember: The ritual starts, we all die; and I'll kill anyone who comes near Dawn."- Buffy
[turns and leaves the room]
"Well, not exactly the St. Crispin's Day speech, was it?"- Spike
[picking up remaining weapons] "We few, we happy few..."- Giles
"...we band of buggered."- Spike

[Buffy is pretending to be the Buffybot]
"Why did you let that Glory hurt you?"- Buffy
"She wanted to know who the key was."- Spike
"Oh, well, I can tell her, and then you won't..."- Buffy
"No! You can't ever. Glory never finds out."- Spike
"Why?"- Buffy
" 'Cause Buffy - the other, not so pleasant Buffy - anything happened to Dawn, it'd destroy her. I couldn't live, her bein' in that much pain. Let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did."- Spike

[Jonathan and Andrew sit with Spike while Warren is working]
"You're English, right?"- Andrew
"Yeah..."- Spike
"I've seen every episode of Doctor Who. Not Red Dwarf, though, cause, um..."- Andrew
"Cause it's not out yet on DVD."- Jonathan
"Right, it's not out yet on DVD."- Andrew
[shouts] "Warren!"- Spike

"Uh-huh. Go away."- Xander
"Now why would I do that when it's bugging you so much having me here? They have chicken wings, too. Also, a sort of a flower-shaped thing they make from an onion. It's brilliant."- Spike
"Are you talking to me hoping that I'll get so depressed that I'll impale myself on a fork right in front of you?"- Xander
"Lovely thought. If I don't hurt you myself, the chip wouldn't zap me. I could eat you that way. Beat the onion thing all to hell."- Spike

[Counting on his fingers] "Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh, God. I'm English."- Spike
"Welcome to the nancy tribe."- GIles
"You don't suppose you and I... we're not related, are we?"- Spike
"There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance."- Anya
"A-And you do inspire a, um, particular feeling of familiarity and... disappointment. Older brother?"- Giles
[snorts; with certainty] "Father. Oh, God, how I must hate you."- Spike
[Surprised] "What did *I* do?"- Giles

"You wanna bet that's the entrance to the Deeper Well?"- Angel
"Either that or Christmasland."- Spike
[Angel looks at him confused]
"Do you ever have any fun?"- Spike

"I don't know what your game is, Spike, but I know there's something you're not telling me."- Buffy
"You're right, there is. But, we're not best friends anymore. So, too bad for me. I'm not sharin'. We've been through things, the end of the world and back. I can be useful, 'cause, honestly, I've got nothing better to do. You can make use of me if you want."- Spike

[Spike decides to attack a Gorah demon]
"Hey, Gorah! Heads up!"- Spike
[the demon rises revealing itself to have three heads]
"Right, then. Heads it is."- Spike

[after seeing Harmony throw a tantrum and storm out]
"I must be in hell."- Spike
"Ah, no. L.A. But a lot of people make that mistake."- Lorne

"This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms."- Anya
"Okay, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends?"- Xander
"Oh, we're not your friends. Go on."- Spike
"Please don't."- Giles

[Spike is handed a technical document]
"Help me out here Spock, I don't speak loser."- Spike

[Eve's replacement as the Senior Partner's liaison reaches in his jacket pocket and pulls out a pen] "Wow. Didn't see that coming."- Spike

[as Rachel] "How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night thing?"- Spike
[as Angel] "No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. And now, I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair. Never the hair."- Spike
[as Rachel] "But there must be some way I can show my appreciation?"- Spike
[as Angel] "No, helping those in need's my job, and workin' up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough."- Spike
[as Rachel] "I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so..."- Spike
[gasps]
[as Angel] "Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away."-Spike

"Tell me you love me."- Buffy
"I love you. You know I do."- Spike

"Tell me you want me."- Buffy
"I always want you. In point of fact..."- Spike
"Shut up."- Buffy